“Get up”, I told her. “Clean up in the bathroom, I am not sure who this is.”

“Okay”

I walk over to the door and use the small peephole to peer into the hallway. I see my friend Patrick. Relieved it isn’t her parents or the police or something, I answer it and give him a big brohug. “What the fuck is up man? What are you doing around here?” continue reading »

To be clear, I like my current roommate. He has been one of by best friends for the past 11 or so years. He has seen me at my best and helped me through my worst. The reason I have to say this at the top is because the story I am about to tell will make him seem like an uber-beta. While this classification wouldn’t be entirely off the mark, my genuine love for him mandates that I at least put this disclaimer here, because what follows is one of the worst stories I could tell about him. continue reading »

I‘ll admit it.   My average-sized dick swells bigger than Barry Bonds’ biceps (circa 2002) when discussing sports, or more accurately, informing you that everything you know about sports is wrong.  Now, with the failure of the BBWAA to elect Mark McGwire to the Hall of Fame for a third consecutive year I find it appropriate to talk about steroids. continue reading »

Disclaimer: This post in no way is meant to encourage or recommend the use of the following substances and is provided for information purposes only. I have no idea if the use of the products mentioned in this article are detrimental or dangerous to your health. Seriously, read at your own risk. continue reading »