In recent times, I’ve come to realize that I suck at friends. While having lunch (by myself) this past Thursday, I updated my facebook status on my phone. Realizing that my status update was stupid and that I wouldn’t be able to delete it from my iPhone, I tried to make the best of it in the hopes that perhaps my friends would notice my feeble cry for attention. I have 780+ facebook friends (15 of which I’ve actually met), and I knew for certain that none of them would comment on my status update… so I went ahead and commented for them. continue reading »

Why do you freaks keep trying to add me on facebook? Aren’t you busy chasing ambulances or something?

Ever since I began writing for this god-forsaken site (like a week ago), I’ve received a multitude of friend requests on facebook – all of which have been rejected/ignored. It’s not like my profile picture is some fine-ass Brazilian broad with monster tits that you could pleasure yourself to (which I wouldn’t hold against you, we’ve all been guilty of this at one point or another). continue reading »