I thought I would be able to last. I thought that my drive and determination would far outweigh the discomfort and bodily pain that would be caused from an abrupt and sudden shift in my diet. But I failed. I failed myself, I failed all of you, and most importantly, I failed science. continue reading »

Day 1: 161 pounds

Day one of my diet was Tuesday. Not too many negative issues at this point. Hunger was practically a non-issue. I planned this poorly however, and rather than researching and purchasing the healthiest and most nutritious foods, I bought just what I thought would taste best. This consisted of buying the largest quantity packages I could find of… continue reading »

Long ago, while budgeting, I discovered that my primary expenses, aside from bills, are alcohol and candy. While reflecting on the amount of candy that I eat in a given day, and how much I enjoy eating it, I began to wonder how long a healthy young person could survive if it was the only thing he/she ate. As with most questions I have, I asked Google. continue reading »

I haven’t slept in over 48 hours, so forgive me if this post is more jumbled and less coherent than my usual product.

I made a realization this morning. I was reading about farm subsidies.  I was reading about how corporations own land, and on the land they have machines. Those machines milk and kill moo-cows. continue reading »

There are no Jack in the Box locations near my home. As such, I rarely have the privilege of consuming the slop they vigorously attempt to pass off as food. Further, as I’m on a post-breakup diet, I really have no business being anywhere near such a restaurant. Nevertheless, thanks to a business trip and a lonely late night, I found myself in the position to sample a new Jack in the Box menu item and – surprise – it was delicious. continue reading »

For those of you who paid attention last week, I voluntarily signed up to undertake a food challenge. Of the three options I had (pizza, tacos, or wings), it was voted that I attempt to eat 15 crunchy tacos in 10 minutes. continue reading »

In this video, I talk about my first Food Challenge happening next Thursday night (12-17-09). You decide whether I try, in only ten minutes, to eat: 15 Crunchy Tacos, or 30 Hot Wings, or 1 Large Supreme Pizza. If I fail, my friend gets to run me over with his car. continue reading »

This will likely be the greatest and most delicious recipe posted in this column, not that this should surprise anyone, fried rice is the unquestionably the greatest thing to come out of China since the movable printing press (fuck you Gutenburg). continue reading »