For a while, I played poker to support myself. Unfortunately, after a few hundred thousand hands, any fun I enjoyment I once received from the game had vanished. In fact, I actually prefer life as an attorney than as a poker player. Perhaps that’s because I never had privilege of playing against anyone as attractive as today’s Lesser Known Hot Girl. continue reading »

An audacious knock on my door interrupted my transport mission – a perilous journey from my kitchen to my bar, carrying as many bags of frozen, organic vegetables as could fit in my arms. I moved to my door without considering first completing the journey, leaned against the door, and peered through the peephole. Though the building has emergency lights that automatically illuminate in the case of a power outage, I could not ascertain the identity of the female standing at my door. continue reading »

Grocery stores would be better. Or a library. I’m so good at talking to girls in libraries. [My friend asks me what I think of the girls in the club, and if I have talked to any. I tell him, “It’s impossible to tell if they’re quality or not.”] Like I give a shit. continue reading »

The show Popular aired a little more than a decade ago. The show targeted two key demographics: idiot women who enjoy bullshit soap-style drama, and teenage guys who had yet to find the good porn on the internet. Since we forgot to plan any content for today, here is one of the girls from the show. continue reading »

Just like that, I spent a full day’s salary.

I pushed my feet against the desk, reclining my Aeron as far as possible, and considered the situation.  According to the American Airlines website, Abby’s plane was to land in Dallas around three-thirty; it was seven-thirty.  So long as she was in town, I couldn’t see myself coming into the office, more for fear of leaving her unattended in my loft than anything more romantic.  I knew a number of associates planned on treating the week as a normal workweek, not even taking off for Thanksgiving.  In order to compensate for my upcoming, Abby-provoked absences, I decided to do something for my firm that I hoped I could avoid throughout my entire career, apply myself. continue reading »

I had been awake for twenty minutes before I opened my eyes, not because, as occasionally happens, my rest was extraordinarily pleasing, but because, as more often happens, I was hungover. Though I was in my building’s mostly dim parking garage, in my mostly dim TL, the scarce light had been too much for my worn eyes to handle. continue reading »

I woke up in a sick and heavy haze. I found myself laying face down on a freezing hardwood floor. A champagne flute was still in my right hand.  I try and roll over but feel something attached to my head scraping against the wood beneath me, inhibiting my head from rolling enough for me to be facing the ceiling. I reach up and remove a gnarled tiara which had slipped back on my head. It was dark and black around certain edges. continue reading »

“It might help with your problem…is doesn’t turn you on to use me like a slave with another guy?”

I am not going to lie. The way she said it really turned me on…the idea was sort of appealing. I had had a few threesomes and “trains” as we call them down here, but there were a couple of issues that made this weird. continue reading »